Friday, October 1, 2010
Here I am at BYU-Hawaii, a land of sun, ocean...and rust. Because of the sun and ocean air, lots of things rust here, so my bike is already getting some flecks of the lovely stuff. I transitioned pretty well into life here, already able to set a routine for myself with classes and work while poking in the spiritual devotional every Thursday.
My classes seem alright. I mean, they aren't the best because it's class. I love to learn, but I don't like to do the work outside of the classroom and that is usually my downfall. So far, I've managed to do most of my work and turn it all in. The only time I failed to finish my work was because I had no clue that I was supposed to finish that section of hirogana in Japanese; therefore, it only came about by my ignorance, not my procrastination or laziness.
Work is basically right up my alley. I help out around the art classroom and run small errands, which is just what I like. I don't get blamed massively for doing something wrong--like if I cooked in the cafeteria--and I don't have to be around bugs and dirt! Nor do I have to do any of that public speaking sort of business...usually. I love it to death.
But, being here helps you discover things. You realize that you really don't know how to cook or that washing clothes is a bit more of a science than you thought. You discover that really you are an outgoing person, you just have to be presented with the right environment. For me, I've discovered that I'm actually pretty fit when it comes to bike riding. I ride like the wind and I have no intention of slowing down; I want to go home, not dilly dally.
On the other hand, you also discover some sad points too. When you leave for college, you understand what your relationship really was with all those people back home. Perhaps, for some, all their friends continued to be the same as they were when you lived in the same town as them. For others, they realize that their friends only bothered to keep up the relationship when he or she was available all the time; when instead of a five-hour plane ride, they're only a ten-minute drive away.
For some, we feel ignored.
True, I was never very popular. Maybe I could've if I wanted to, but I was fine with a choice number of friends. I treasured every friendship I had; but some people don't feel that way. It seems like some friendships are only formed when there is a need for social interaction and a reassurance that your likes and dislikes are accepted by somebody. But it is the choice of the two involved whether that specific relationship is worth saving and valuing, even after they aren't near each other any more. As I am in Hawaii, I feel like I am starting to be forgotten by some and just plain ignored by others. Maybe I'm annoying them because I still want to be part of my hometown in some way. Or maybe I am no longer useful to them, so I am no longer necessary to their survival and happiness. That's a sad thought, but it may also be true. This is sacrifice. This is the distinction of true friends and those who just aren't right for you.
College makes me think. I am out here on my own now and I have to analyze my situation. But, college hurts too.
Just yesterday, I had my eighteenth birthday. Oh, yes, the big one-eight; now I can buy dry ice! My buddies made me cakes, I had one send me a card and I got a wonderful package from my parents. My best friend managed to get her present to me, despite the fact that she is far, far away from here! My housemates got me a card! All day long, people posted "happy birthday" and various sweet things. Some of these people, I didn't even know! They are just kind people by nature, I think. To tell you the truth, this was twenty times more than I ever expected to get. Therefore, it was one of the best birthdays I've ever had because it went beyond what I would deem a good eighteenth birthday.
Despite my easy transition into school, this was a hard week for me. I can only hope that my time here will only be easier as I understand and comprehend things more and more.